Discovering Self-Confidence

May 1st, 2016 by Avital Benedek

In our lives, we falter, we make mistakes and we are challenged. In our lives, we also prosper, succeed and make huge leaps of progress in our personal lives. Our lives would not be balanced if we did not have both moments: challenge and uplift. For many, however, the balance is difficult to emotionally manage.

When it comes to self image, how we view ourselves may have little to do with our actual individual qualities. We know this to be true in regards to body image. Sometimes we hear people we consider to be absolutely gorgeous or handsome speak negatively about themselves. Others, whose beauty is perhaps out of line with normative beauty standards, show little evidence of insecurity or weakness in self-image.

For some, this positive self-image comes naturally. Their self-love and confidence comes without practice or a real need for maintenance. For others, it takes practice and self-teaching to learn how to authentically take on a positive self-image. If you find yourself to be in one of the latter categories, struggling to establish self-love, you can work to change this.

So how can we tackle self-hate?

If self-confidence is achieved through practice and effort, we must find ways to assist us in our pursuit of personal growth. Before addressing tips and tools for discovering self-confidence, there is something foundational we must address.

Confidence and beauty comes from within – we must set our standards of self-perception to be based on ourselves. Validation most come from your individual self, not some standards on which you assume others may judge you. Once you separate yourself from your perceived public scrutiny, and focus on yourself, you will find that it is much easier to work on your self-confidence.

Tools, Tips, and Techniques

There is a lot of information out there, but we really love Drew Canole’s guide to self-love. Drew is a pleasure to listen to, and we are excited to have him as part of the World Wide Transformational Summit. Here, we call on 3 tips Drew outlines ways to show more self-appreciation and self love.

  1. Loving Thoughts

Positive self-affirmation may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is so important to help integrate authentic feelings of confidence. Whether you want to write them down or say them out loud, complimenting and encouraging yourself helps build the relationship between your body and mind.

This type of work is becoming more and more popular — not to mention it’s amazing to see Vogue dedicating issues to body image and empowerment. Even though self-confidence is not all about body image, it’s so important to work together to change the standards and beauty norms to which we all hold ourselves and each other accountable.

  1. Loving Habits

Accomplishing small daily habits that nourish our body and soul help us feel like worthy, deserving people. Acts like drinking water, exercising, organizing; completing hobbies like writing or drawing, and even setting aside time for grateful thought, all impact our self perception. Canole really loves to emphasize exercise as a loving habit, and we could not agree more!

  1. Loving Self Care

This means taking the time to focus on yourself. Especially if you have many responsibilities such as being a parent, heavy work load, etc, this is crucial. Taking some time to indulge in pampering yourself goes a long way. If you are having a bad day, taking time to wear what makes you feel good and NOT what you think will look good to others will help break you away from negative patterns of self comparison.

  1. Setting Goals and Checking In

Building confidence does not happen overnight. When you start practicing these strategies, some days you will feel you will have a breakthrough. Other days you will feel like you just can’t get ahead. This is why setting goals is important to making progress. This doesn’t just mean setting goals for your progress in confidence. You can set goals for any personal projects you want to accomplish. Set little markers on a calendar or phone so you can check in with yourself as time goes by. And remember, be kind to yourself. There is nothing more damaging than harsh self-judgment.



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