Break Up Tips: Finding Empowerment and Strength in your Breakup

April 2nd, 2016 by Daniel Ruiz

How Do I Recover From My Breakup? First step….. Check out our Break Up Tips Below

We’ve all been there, that feeling of hopelessness and sadness after a breakup. Feelings of depression are extremely common, if anything people are extremely prone to developing full on depression after a breakup.

Breaking up is a tough game. Our egos feel weak and we often fall back on an (un)healthy dose of self-deprecation. If you’re anything like me once you become self aware of this you become hard on yourself, it is as if nothing you do is good enough and you yearn for the days when you felt strong and self-empowered — not pining for your loved one.

So how do we find strength and power when we feel weak and rejected?

1. Let yourself feel.

You can’t expect to immediately move past emotions triggered by a breakup. Often they are visceral and permeate deep into the body.

Allow yourself to feel all the feelings of hate, love, resentment, sadness, anger, self-deprecation. The more you allow yourself to address these feelings, the easier it will be to move on. The biggest mistake people make is suppressing emotional reactions. Often, suppression is paired with rejection. “I can’t feel sad because that makes me weak” Sound familiar?

2. Write it down

Thoughts flood in when you’re ready for sleep or when you wake up in the middle of the night. Then, the stress of not sleeping sets in, only amplifying all your racing thoughts. Turn on the light, sit up (or better yet, change rooms or location), and take a moment to just write down all these thoughts.

Getting them out of your head and onto paper only furthers your ability to confront your feelings and move past them.

3. Confront your emotional baggage

It is common for people to prolong feelings of sadness, depression, and anger far longer than necessary. Chances are, it’s not necessarily just a personal pity-party. Often, we deeply connect past stories and histories with current problems without realizing. Often, this is referred to as emotional baggage.

Stress Release experts like Robert Smith and Dr. Bradley Nelson both have healing techniques that confront the emotional matrices we carry with us as we move through life. Nelson believes that these “trapped emotions” can haunt us throughout life, influencing the ways we feel pain and relate to the world around us. In his book The Emotion Code, Nelson addresses how to release these emotions to overcome recurring emotional issues and even physical issues.

When it comes to breakups, if we confront these previous histories we have, we can begin to separate what really happened from our tainted personal lenses.

4. Take it slow

Don’t assume that one day of self-reflection and journaling will heal all wounds. Truly, time does heal. However, like anything in life that is worthwhile it takes work to navigate healing, it is not a passive process. Ask any great healer, mentor, and therapist: it takes practice and process to work through the thoughts that live in our bodies and permeate through every single body function.

So take it slow. Let yourself feel the highs and the lows. You never know when that feeling of anxiety or depression, sadness or anger, love and longing may come back to challenge you.

5. Keep moving and…..

This is very important for finding the strength and power that you’re searching for. The more efforts made to do small things for yourself, and not for anyone else or for the ghost of your relationship, the more you will feel invigorated. Self-worth comes from self acceptance and purpose. Keep yourself moving and motivated — regardless if it’s the small, daily tasks or creative projects you set forth, just do them. It’s even more empowering when you set aside time to accomplish the things you’ve always had on your mind to do but haven’t yet done!

Every time you accomplish something, you will find more strength to do all of the other work outlined above.

With work, self-love, and practice, it is possible to find the strength you need in the midst of your sadness and pain. As you work though that emotional baggage, it will be tough, but trust me, the work you put in will pay off in the long run helping make a stronger more resilient YOU.

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